The World on My Shoulders

I just wanted you to know that New York City is much more fun when you have to carry a grumpy four-year-old twenty blocks on your shoulders. It's even more enjoyable when said four-year-old begins to whine and cry, "What's that smell? I can't stand that smell! I've smelled it since we got to this stupid city!"

Revenge is sweet. I made sure to point out every pile of horse poop. I also steered us towards a police officer, which, of course, inspired great panic. I had purpose, though. We were lost in Central Park. Dumb tourists!

Speaking of dumb tourists, we also went to the Jekyll and Hyde Club. It was VERY expensive, but quite worth it. Tootsie got to dance on stage with a mad scientist. It also left me with some awesome pictures of the horrified look on Bubby's face.

Karma bit me on the fanny for that one, though. While my better half and I are exhausted, Bubby and Tootsie are rarin' to go.

We're Normal Folk

Guess what? I reached my goal: the car fits into the garage. We're normal folk now!

Advertising for the Intelligent Crowd

I had no choice but to buy these light bulbs after reading the box. Energy efficient bulbs usually use less wattage than the original bulb, right? But the concept of actually raising my electricity bill by replacing the old bulbs with ones that use more power is irresistible!

This is brilliant marketing! I bought these solely because of the typo. I was pleasantly amused at the idiocy of the package designer. If you want to buy some, too, go to Lowes. These are Sylvania Super Saver micro mini Soft Whites. I could've bought another brand, but Sylvania had me hooked. By the way, for those of you unfamiliar with CFL's and their wattage, the box should read, ...using only 13 watts."

Thank Goodness for Willy Wonka

Were it not for that wonderful 1970's film, I would not still be laughing. Today, at the pool, a little boy, or should I say a big boy, who much resembled Augustus Gloop was stahving. For 10 minutes, he pounded on the snack bar glass, begging the guards to open up and sell him some ice cream. Then, he alternated between pounding the glass and plastering his belly, arms, and face against it in an effort to get closer to the treats.

No kidding, as soon as he walked away with the ice cream, he dropped it and came back for more. From across the pool, his mother shouted, "Save some room for later." I almost peed my pants.

Classic.

Hmmm

Well, Bubby just informed me that he is "sick and tired" of my telling him what to do. What do ya know? That settles it then. Since he is sick and tired of hearing my instructions, and I am sick and tired of giving them, let's stop. No more instructions.

Seriously, I'd love to try it, but my stupid conscience won't let me. Darned over-developed sense of right and wrong. His choice of words, though, did make me giggle.

Motherhood Has Taught Me...

...that not matter how many times you pretreat and wash the shirt, you just can't get rid of that blood stain from the head injury. You might as well put that shirt in the box of memorabilia because we all want to remember the head injury. It makes a good story.

...that if you spend three hours making dinner, the kids won't like it, even if it were laced with cotton candy and Pop Rocks.

...that it's impossible to get through the grocery store with the kids and not buy chocolate milk and cheese curls.

...that I am the crazy lady in line who rocks her cart forward and backwards while humming to herself.

...that every time you get up early to exercise or do some work, the boy wakes up early, too. And he wants pancakes.

...that whenever everything seems to be going smoothly, someone is bound to throw up at 3:24 a.m.

...that swimming in the pool does not equate to bathing with soap.

...that you have become too accustomed to dirt when you can smell recently shampooed hair from across the kitchen while onions and garlic are cooking on the stove.

...that the dog is responsible for each and every potato that I have found in the bedroom.

...that the secret to cleaning a jar of marshmallow fluff out of the carpet is love. Lots and lots of love.

Bubby Hates Ronald McDonald

So, apparently, Bubby possesses a deep-seated hatred for Ronald McDonald. Whenever the clown shows up on TV, Bubby flies into a rage and tells me that if he ever meets "That Clown," he will kick it and punch it. It conjures up this image of Bubby's little fists-a-flyin'. I have to admit that I am really tempted to take the boy to the Ronald statue to see what happens.

Today, Bubby wanted to know where the clown lives. It's like he's plotting out an elaborate plan to attack and conquer. It's just interesting to see such enmity contained in such a sweet little body. I suppose most people feel that way about someone somewhere along the line, be it an ex-friend, a nemesis, a snob... I guess I only ever felt that way about Andy Griffith.

The Body

We have thoroughly enjoyed our summer, but one of the best parts was the visit to the Body Worlds exhibit in Buffalo. For those of you who don't know what this is, the display focuses on anatomy; this one specifically explored the circulatory system. What made it so AWESOME was that everything in the exhibit was authentic--from real humans who donated their bodies to this program. We were not looking at mannequins; we were looking at real people, their muscles, their blood vessels, their hearts, their brains. Oh, it was so cool. There were cross sections of brains, livers, hearts, knees, hands, you name it. We saw what aneurisms and strokes look like compared to normal circumstances. There was even a fetal development room with fetuses that ranged from 5 weeks to 32 weeks. That was perhaps one of the most fascinating aspects of the whole thing. Most people don't want to hear about it, though, because these are real babies that didn't survive. We could see when the fingers develop, when hair starts to grow, everything. So very cool. Thank goodness for science. I wish I could post a picture, but picture-taking was strictly prohibited. Here a link to the press kit photos on the Body Worlds website.

My children found it intriguing, too. Tootsie was completely captivated. She liked the fetus room, also. Bubby was tired of walking, so he just humored me through most of it. I'm glad they could go and not be traumatized. No one had dreams of skinless, bug-eyed bodies.

A Few More Things I Never Thought I'd Say

1. Don't beat up the penguin.
2. Yes, I could climb that tree.
3. Checkers is not a crying game.
4. Yes, Batman does too take naps.