Some Nice Summer Images

Lightning bug Christmas lights
Watery Slip-N-Slide
Rainbow bubbles
Heavy, fat rainplops
Silent sweat bees
Silver heat pools
Ice cream

The Grass Wars and Exploding Tummies

Oh, it's on... again. I mow; my neighbor mows. I mow again. He mows again. I don't want my grass taller than his, and he doesn't want his taller than mine. It's a vicious cycle--but I'm having fun with it.

I did manage to destroy the clover. The funny thing is that there are bizarre dark green stripes in random spots throughout my yard. You see, sometimes I used the weed killer, and sometimes I used the weed killer plus fertilizer. I really should have been more careful. I should have taken the time to spell out something in the yard, or better yet, make a huge Bat Signal in the front yard and a Hannah Montana logo in the back. I bet I could still do it. I have a little fertilizer left. Oh, that would be awesome!

Speaking of outside, it may get warm enough this week to go to the pool. I just can't wait to traipse around in a swimsuit. Last night, as we were all lying on the floor together, my children asked how my tummy got so fat. Nice. Tootsie asked if it was like that when I married Daddy. Nope. It wasn't. Bubby asked how it got that way. I told him it exploded. Now Bubby thinks I have no stomach because it exploded. Really, it's not that fat. I know I sound like I am in denial, but I'm not. It was the way I was lying on the floor. Really. I'm not fat. Creepy kids. That just stresses me out and makes me want to eat ice cream and cookies. I know some people don't accept as an excuse that I don't have time to exercise. Ok, let's just go with that for a minute. If I were to get out of bed at 4:00 a.m., then I could exercise, but really, I like sleep too much for that, so it doesn't fit into my schedule. If I had a rickshaw, then I could load up the kids and go for a really good walk, but I don't have one. Maybe I need to check Amazon.com to see if they sell the things. Hold on while I open another window and check Amazon...

Well, that was a ridiculous waste of time. No rickshaws except those that attach to the bike, and I want a walking one. Ok, so I will have to customize a backpack to attach to the wagon handle so that I can pull them along with straps over my shoulders. See, this just requires too much thought. Maybe I need to go get some ice cream.

Red Shoes

Ok, so I bought these fantastic shoes, and you know I'm not a shoe person. It must be my equivalent of a midlife crisis. Some people buy a sports car--I buy red shoes. Then, I had to hunt high and low to find clothes that would match the red shoes. Of course, Bubby says they are beautiful, and he asks me to wear them everywhere I go. Bubby is wonderfully sweet that way; he always tells me if he likes my hair or my shirt or my skirt. Tootsie is sweet that way, too, if I am sparkly and pink, but I don't get sparkly. No sparkles for me. I did put on Tootsie's Hannah Montanna wig, though, and I looked stunning. I bet my red shoes would go great with the wig! I'll have to try it out this afternoon.

Band Aid Mama

I love the randomness of parenthood. Today, I found a used band aid stuck to my clean clothing. Although the thing had been "previously owned," it obviously had gone through the laundry. At no point in my old, ordinary life would I have found someone else's used band aid stuck to me. I love being a mother.

Friends

The other night, Bubby explained to me that his brain is friends with his face, his stomach, his bones, his skeleton (which apparently is a separate entity from his bones), and his hands. Imagine my relief at knowing his brain has developed an amicable relationship with the rest of the boy. Phew! All my worries are put to rest. No more nights lying awake consumed with fear that Bubby's brain was secretly battling his bones. Now, if only I could get him to stop punching himself in the head.