Home

We are in the house! It is a mess. We are so sloppy. Toys everywhere.

Guess what I did two years ago? I packed up open bags of flour and sugar. What the heck was I thinking? Do I like bugs? No. Absolutely not, but I certainly made it possible for them to invade my life. I'm an idiot.

Guess what I did on Sunday? Bought a 50 inch tv. Swore I'd never do that, but I did. Now I live in total fear that it will fall off the wall and crush someone. Fun.

I know that all sounds very negative, but hey, I'm a downer.

Actually, it's wonderful. My bathroom is bigger than the bedroom I had in the house I grew up in. It's very cool. Maybe I'll post some pictures once I have the place cleaned and vacuumed with my CENTRAL VAC.

New house, new things. I decided to cook a turkey. It's in the oven now. Have never done that before. He he he. I read the directions on the bag. I removed the innards. Then, I tried to remove the neck. With tongs. I stood on a stool over the sink shaking that bird viciously trying to get that stupid neck out. It was probably pretty comical to watch. I shook and cursed and shook and cursed. And then I realized I was trying to pull it out the wrong end.

Boy Meets Staple

I have a theory that every boy at some point needs stitches, staples, or some other device to hold his skin together. Yesterday, was my son's turn. After being cooped up in the house for five days of strep throat, ear infections, intestinal disturbances, and what-have-you, I took the kids outside to play. We were out there for a total of two minutes before the boy fell off his Home Depot front-loader in the backyard, hitting his head on the edge of the driveway. There was immediate blood. My daughter just screamed, "Mommy, he's bleeding! Mommy, he's bleeding! Mommy, he's bleeding!" It was, of course, no news to me because I was trying to stop the bleeding as she was screaming about it. Actually, she did more crying about the incident than he did because of her extreme fear of blood, all things that deal with blood, and health care providers that might require drawing blood or poking one with needles, which causes--you guessed it--bleeding. She was also worried about her brother, which is nice.

So, the boy merely needed a staple. He was tough, but after the doctor put some antibiotic ointment on the cut, my boy did say, “That guy hurt me!”




Now, with a head this big, is it any wonder?

The House Picture

It's coming along!

Ahhhh, the Rewards of Motherhood

Today was an exciting day. My daughter awoke with a fever. She lay there on the couch, moaning in misery. There was nothing I could do for her. Finally, she asked for the bucket. We were able to easily identify everything she had eaten since she got out of bed. My favorite were the tiny stars from her chicken and stars soup. Campbell's looks just the same coming up as it does going down.

I was eventually able to lower her fever to a decent 102.5, and she asked for McDonald's because they have Build-A-Bear toys. It's never simple, really, because my sister and my son wanted Burger King, so we went to both. And for all of that, do you think I would have gotten a decent Simpson's figure? Nope, another frickin Apu.

So, as soon as we got home, I gathered everyone to the table to eat. My son, poor baby, took one bite and promptly threw up all over his precious chicken fries, himself, and me. Fun. As I was bathing him, then hosing off the high chair, and then starting laundry, all I could think was: why bother. It'll all happen again.

I think I am going to buy a bartender's guide. For me.

The House

Oh, girls, there will be such a party! I can't wait! Closing is still set for August 20th!

Here are some things I learned about the neighborhood:
A county cop lives up the street.
A federal marshal lives across the street.
The fire chief lives at the end of the street.

Can I pick neighborhoods, or what? We'll be very well behaved, and if we catch on fire, we know we'll be taken care of quickly.

More Things I Thought I'd Never Say

Well, I said it today:
If you take a bite of banana, I will smell your feet.